Hey young people. Stop being idiots and go stick 65 bucks a month into a mutual fund. Then do it again next month. When you wake up in forty years you’ll thank me for your millions.
Because we here at launchday headquarters are all about sticking it to the man. It’s basically our life purpose. And nothing sticks it to the man like keeping your money.
Let’s take a thousand bucks. Assuming you were able to forego cramming seven dollar starbucks and 12 dollar cigarretes into your face long enough to manage to actually accumulate a thousand bucks, and you shoved that thousand bucks into an account when you were 25 years of age, walked away, didnt put another dime in, lived your life, and came back at 65 when you were done working for the man, and it had earned 18% compound interest while it was sitting there, that 1000 would have become about 750,000 bucks all by its little itty biddy self.
A cool three quarters million for doing zilcho, buddy.
Your whiny irritating voice: “Oh but mister launchday, there’s NOOOooOO WAY you can earn eighteen percent anymore blah blah blah.”
Hah ha ha, you know who earns 18 percent? Remember the man? He looks a little like this sometimes:
Yeah, go check your statement – how much you paying that guy? There’s a reason banks own the tallest buildings in town. That dude earns 18%, and he does it from your dough. You know how much you earn? Well a quick check of the savings account interest rates at bankrate.com tells me about one half of one percent at “the mans” savings accounts.
So why don’t you at least stick it to the man by taking those little pieces of credit plastic out of your gucci manpurse and snip them up. That stops the man from scraping his 18% off your hide. Then stick it to the man some more — go take your thousand bucks and cram it into some noload mutual fund account somewhere. And cram 65 bucks in there next month. And the month after that. And don’t stop.
Because we here at LD headquarters know that if you give all your dough to him, you won’t be able to give it all to us. And that would be downright tragic.
You have your mission. Report back.
