Consider the Buckeye

Now that I”ve got this blog readership down to waffling between “zero” and “my mom”, (not really – not even my mom reads this) the creepy true affections of the wrinkly, power-mad denizens of the Launch Day boardroom can finally come out: trees.

I’ll wax poetic one day on trees, but for now, let me just take a brief moment to guide your chubby, unobservant little eyeballs to what you may not know is California’s only native buckeye (pronounced “buckeye”) tree. If you were to actually be outside, which you’re not, nor will be anytime soon, but were you actually to put your phone down long enough to go for a delightful little stroll through our own lovely local mountains (another of our creepy affections, dont get us started), you’d probably see a few of these things. But we’re not to the interesting bit yet. Two interesting things about this tree – one – it’s completely leafless and dead looking right now not because it’s dead, but because it’s an awesome adaptation to drop its foliage to minimize evaporation (pronounced “evaporation”) during hot weather. got that? it’s like if you went outside and it was hot and you took all your clothes off (which i guess i also recommend. see? zero readership people despite the good ideas.) the buckeye drops its leaves and just leaves these hanging little pear-shaped fruit, or pods. Which is the second interesting thing about these trees. the lovely pear-shaped fruit, or pods. Um, they’re poisonous.

Um, they’re poisonous.

Vomit, diarrhea, sometimes paralysis. Which sounds like fun, but you’d better stick to your MDMA or ecstasy or aspirin or whatever it is you amuse yourself with at the fancy electronic dance music parties, and stay away from the yummy looking nature pear fruit.

The California Buckeye, folks. Duck outside to catch it in all its naked glory this time of year.